Train Up A Child

God spoke to me about this verse this morning:

"Train up a child in way HE should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 21:6, emphasis mine.

I began to ponder what this meant to me.  After all, all of my children are now young adults and living on their own.  I certainly still have influence in their lives, but the daily disciplining of a child is no longer one of my duties.

That still small voice of God was so very clear when He spoke to me..."Debbie, so often you are trying to direct your children in a way so that they do not make YOUR mistakes, instead of directing them the way I say they should go."  

Oh my, how true that is!  You see, my path has been quite crooked.  I have stumbled and fallen more times that I want to count.  My life has been broken, shattered and slowly put back together again....and the heartache has been so great that it is sometimes, even now, difficult to speak of it without tears streaming down my cheeks.

But isn't that exactly what brought me to the foot of the cross?  Isn't that why I have become so dependent on my Savior, leaning of the the everlasting arms?   Wasn't it every single loss, heartache and life altering mistake that brought me to Him?

I'm not saying that my children must go through that same path to find Jesus...and I'm not saying I just watch them jump from a cliff....but I am saying, that it isn't my job to direct them in a way that I do not want them to go..but to direct them in the way that Jesus wants them to go....no matter the cost.  No matter what it may seem like to me.

I do not want my children to make the same mistakes I did.  I do want all of my children to live for Jesus.  To love Him, to be world changers for the cause of Christ.  And my part in doing that is directing them in way He says they should go.

One of my favorite verses is 3 John 1:4: I have no greater joy than to hear than my children walk in truth.

So how will I do this?  Pray for and with my children when direction is needed, and let the Father speak before I do.

I'll keep loving them, praying for them and giving much grace and much mercy....just as He has done for me.

Happy Sunday!

My Sister, My Hero

I was an only child...for a little over 3 years...and then my little sister joined the family. Today is her birthday.  A little brother came along a few years later, I'll share more about that when his birthday comes along!

As I ponder the years of our lives, I realize, she is the one that has known me longer than anyone that is involved in my life.  

She has watched me go through so much in life, physical abuse, divorce, bad decisions, good decisions, happy marriage, another divorce.....and life change.  

And we have gone through so much together...our entire childhood, our mom and dad's cancer and their subsequent deaths, giving our lives to Christ, growing in Him and His love.

She is one of my greatest cheerleaders.  

She is so very often the voice of reason. 

I don't always agree with her...but I always listen...she knows where I came from...she knows what I've been through and she never judges me...ever.   

She knows my dreams. She believes in me.  I believe in her. We are great pair.

She speaks the truth in love...and has been the hands and feet of Jesus in my life more times than I can count.

She loves me.  She knows my heart better than just about anyone.  She is so very much like our mama.  She is my hero.  

She is a Proverbs 31 woman:

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. (Proverbs 31:25-26)

Happy Birthday Sandy!!!  I love you more than you can ever imagine!

 

He Watches Me

Loneliness permeates my soul...it envelopes me like a heavy fog...screaming silence deafens me.  My face is streaked with tears...my heart is heavy...my vision blurred.  It is Saturday.  It is beautiful outside....the sun shines brightly....the air is crisp.... still sadness overwhelms me.

I'm not where I thought I would be at this point in my life.  I thought I would have it all together. 

I don't.  I'm not sure I ever will.  I still struggle with depression, anxiety, loneliness...the list goes on and on and on.

BUT GOD...

I know this one thing...He is not surprised by where I am or how I'm feeling or what today looked like for me.  And He knew that the lyrics of this song would settle deep into my heart and warm my soul, so at just the right time He arranged for me to hear it today to remind me that He watches me....

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

• Refrain:
  I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
  For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

1. “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
   And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
   Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
2. Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
   When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
   I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I love how He loves me...how He reminds me ever so gently that He is near.  I am so very blessed.  In the silence I can hear His still small voice.  I am loved.