Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones - But Words May Kill Me.

Words.  It is said that a woman speaks about 20,000 words a day.  That is a lot of words.  A lot.

Recently while working on a chapter regarding the “Power of Your Words” in a study that I am involved in, “Living in Freedom Every Day”, as I began to dive into the chapter, I had the mindset of “already know it…got it…let’s fill in the blanks and move on”.  But that isn’t what happened at all.  Not even close. 

As I was reading the chapter and looking up and writing out the scripture associated with it, Jesus spoke to me so gently … “Debbie, there are words that were spoken to you and over you, as a child, and even up until this very day, that you relive almost daily.  Those words are creating death in your life.   Replace those lies that were spoken with my truth.  Receive the life I have created for you.”

An avalanche of words crashed through my mind, as I collapsed in tears, weeping and almost hearing the voices of those who spoke these words to me.

“Debbie, you are lazy!”

“Debbie you are so selfish!”

“Debbie, you will never amount to anything!”

“Debbie, you will never be able to handle money!”

“Debbie, I never loved you!  Nobody will ever love you!”

“Debbie, you’re such an idiot!”

“Debbie, you are just psycho!”

“Debbie, you were such a terrible mother!”

The list is much longer – but you get the picture…these words…some spoken to me from others, some I spoke over myself – all of them hurt.  They hurt deeply.  It is said "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  That is a lie straight from the pits of hell.  Words can kill me.

Then, I remembered those words that I spoke over others….

“You will end up in jail!”

“You’re such an idiot!”

“You NEVER listen!”

“You are so selfish!”

“Stupid!”

I crumbled beneath the weight of the words I have spoken to those I profess to love and care about.  And I wept...My words were speaking death to their lives. 

BUT GOD…

As I cried out to Him seeking forgiveness to those that I have hurt with my words, He lifted me from that dark heap of emotion and sorrow…and pointed me to His word.

You see, God used words to speak into existence all that was…just read Genesis.

Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1:3)

And he continued to "speak" for six (6) days.  Creating life.

So God showed us the power of words in the very beginning.  If words were important to Him, shouldn’t they be to us?

Our words are either building up or tearing down...speaking life or speaking death.

His Word is clear regarding the power of our words.  Let’s look at just a few scriptures:

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.  (Proverbs 12:18)

Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.  (Proverbs 13:3)

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. (Proverbs 15:1)

Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.  (Proverbs 15:4)

Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.  (Proverbs 16:24)

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.  (Proverbs 18:21)

So today, if like me, you have had words of destruction spoken over you (or, like me, you’ve spoken them to yourself) or like me, you’ve spoken them to others…let’s make today, the first day of the rest of our lives in being INTENTIONAL about what words we think and speak to others and to ourselves. 

If words bring death or life – let’s choose life!

How do we do that?  By replacing those thoughts with God’s truth. 

Here are a few examples:

“Debbie, you are lazy!” – God’s truth is “I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” (Psalm 139:14)

“Debbie you are so selfish!” – God’s truth is “He is the vine and I am the branch, if I remain in Him, I will bear much fruit!”  (John 15:4-5)

“Debbie, you will never amount to anything!” – God’s truth is “He has plans for me!  Plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope!” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“Debbie, you will never be able to handle money!” – God’s truth is “I can do ALL things through Christ!” (Philippians 4:13) and “God will provide ALL my needs!” (Phillipians 4:19)

“Debbie, I never loved you! Nobody will ever love you!” – God’s truth is “I have loved you with an everlasting love!” (Jeremiah 31:3)

“Debbie, you’re such an idiot!” – God’s truth is “I was made in His image!" (Genesis 1:27) 

“Debbie, you are just psycho!” – God’s truth is “I am new in Christ! The old is gone – the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“Debbie, you were such terrible mother!” – God’s truth is “He will give back to me what was lost” (Joel 2:25) and “He cast my sin as far as the east is from the west!” (Psalm 103:12)

And how will I respond to (and about) others that I previously spoke death?  Let me share some of those examples too.

 “You will end up in jail!” - God's truth is, "I am confident that God will complete the work He has begun in you!" (Philippians 1:6)

“You’re such an idiot!” - God's truth is, "You are God's treasured possession!" (Deuteronomy 7:6)

 

“You NEVER listen!” - God's truth is, Debbie, avoiding a fight is a mark of honor.  This time, just be quiet! (Proverbs 20:3)

“You are so selfish!” - God's truth is, Debbie, from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.  Examine yourself first and just be quiet! (Luke 6:45)

“Stupid!”- God's truth is, Debbie, whoever guards his mouth, preserves his life.  Just be quiet! (Proverbs 13:3)

 You'll notice most of the time, I should have just chosen to be quiet.  So before we speak, let us THINK

T - Is it True?

H - Is is Helpful?

I - Is it Inspiring?

N- Is it Necessary?

K - Is it Kind?

If I cannot answer a resounding YES! to all of those questions, then it probably doesn't need to be said.

Today, I’m asking forgiveness to those whom I’ve spoken words of death and I’m making a decision today that I will speak life to and about those people God has placed in my path.  

For His word also reminds me of this: 

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.  And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.  The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you. (Matthew 12:35-37 - emphasis mine)

And just one more scripture comes to my mind as I end this writing:

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live (Deuteronomy 30:19)

What will you choose today?  The choice is yours.