When My Children Hurt

Moms like to fix things...and because of that, moms are frequently the glue that holds a family together...just look around...when mom's gone...too often those relationships with siblings, aunts, uncles and other extended family suffer. 

I'm a mom.  I've been a mom for 33 years now.  God blessed me with three beautiful daughters.  They are all adults now and living on their own.  I’m so very proud of the amazing young women they have become and am very excited to see just what God has in store for them.  I have seen so many changes in my daughters, in myself and in our relationship over the years.

But there is one thing that never changes about being a mom.  Whether the girls are babies, preschoolers, middle schoolers (remember how cruel those girls in middle school could be?) or adults....if someone hurts them, it hurts me terribly.  There is something within me that wants to protect them, fight for them and keep them from being hurt. 

Seeing my adult children finding their way in life, I have seen each of them hurt...sometimes by outsiders that I've never met...sometimes by their spouses (or boyfriends or best friends) and sometimes by the ones that we think are supposed to love them the most...family.  

It's when my girls are hurt by family that it cuts the deepest.  Yet, even as a mom, I don't have the right, nor the responsibility to avenge any of those hurts.  

It is in these times that I find myself in a struggle.  Playing out in my mind what I'd like to say and do to protect those sweet girls.  While knowing they are by no means perfect...and recognizing that some of the hurts they experience were caused by my own actions and choices …. yet, one thing remains, they are still my "little girls" and watching from the sidelines as someone hurts them is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.  

BUT GOD....

Ahhh, He is surely my saving grace this morning.  For without Him, I would be making some very unwise choices and saying some unhealthy things to people that have hurt my girls.  Trying to fix a problem that I was not designed to fix.  Or to repair a relationship that isn't mine to repair.  In fact, I know if I even tried to intervene, I would create a greater chasm than already exists.  In essence, I would be making the problem more difficult than it already is.

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.  Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.  Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them.  If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.  (Romans 12:17-21)

Jesus wants me to do all that I can to live in peace with everyone….see that?  Everyone….even those that hurt us.  Even those that hurt the ones we love.  And sometimes all that I can, means to be kind and pray and love and pray again and be encouraging and pray some more.

So as I wrestle with my own frustration and hurt for my children, I fall to my knees and remember yet another scripture that has played out in my life time and time again:  

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28)

Even in this hurt, as difficult as it is....He will work everything together for the good.  He is faithful.

This scripture resonated deep in my heart this morning:

 “You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’  But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.  If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.  If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.  Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.   “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.  But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!  In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.  For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.  If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.  If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.

As much as the “mom” in me wants to fix what’s wrong…Jesus wants me to just love those who hurt me….and let Him repair what only He can.  For He is the only one who can change hearts.  

My prayer today is this:  Jesus, will you love them through me today so that I can see what Your love really looks like?